One more for the road...

This is a little running journal that I kept my last few days in the Box. I never edited it, nor have I even read it since I wrote it. Enjoy.

6 Out.


17 days and a wake up…

So I was thinking that I hadn’t written in awhile so I would keep kind of a running journal of the last few days. Today has been a pretty typical day here; patrol, bullshit and more bullshit. We are trying to get our equipment handed over to our replacements but the thing is we still have 12 days of combat operations left. This whole thing is jacked up, our replacements are currently at 100% of combat strength and we are just trying to get someone killed by not reducing the number of missions that we are running. The other Troops in our unit have knocked back patrols; so that their guys can get a little down time to pack, clean weapons and get things handed over to the new guys in an orderly fashion- our fat arse of a CO says, “we will keep running this pace till we get on the planes because it is the right thing to do.” You cannot imagine a person more out of touch with how his troopers feel about him than this guy, his only concern is his next promotion he doesn’t give two shits about whether or not one of us gets killed for no reason. A couple of bright spots before I get some sleep so that I can get up and hit the gym in the morning. I got financing approved for my new Jeep Wrangler, so in the middle of January it should be delivered to Austin. The family is going to come and meet me when I get in, I am hoping to head down to San Antonio with them- I love that town so very much. Truly I think it is one of the more beautiful cities in the States, especially around Christmas when I will be there. Our troop managed to get the police called to our tents tonight- we were outside wrestling, about 50 of us; well someone drove by, thought a brawl was going on and called the cops. We were threatened with jail, broken necks and trips to Germany; we were all laughing at the officers and finally they just gave up and walked away. I love the spirit of the Cavalry trooper, 11 months into a combat tour and they still spend their precious down time BSing with each other. I will share one more story before I end today’s entry: today I had one of the biggest scares that I have had since I got here. A short preface, I keep a lieutenant’s bar that belonged to my grandfather in my cap that I wear everyday here- a little piece of him with me every where I go, its comforting. Well today it managed to fall out of my truck as we were leaving for patrol, I didn’t realize it until we were out in sector I called the TOC on the radio and asked them to look for it. My LT heard the call and knew exactly why I wanted my hat; he and a couple of other guys went and looked for it but no luck. They called and let me know, I spent the rest of patrol feeling like someone had killed my puppy- I was terribly upset. When I got back it wasn’t in the TOC, but when I get back to the tent I found it lying on my cot; one of our mechanics had found it and brought it to our tent, it had been run over by a road grater but the bar was still in there. I haven’t been so relieved in such a long time, so now that silver bar resides in a new cap and I will definitely be more careful from now on. Time to get some sleep so I can lift my back in the morning…

16 days and a wake up…

Today has been quiet so far; I woke up around 0630 and went to the gym I had a good work out. After the gym I picked up laundry, showered and went to lunch- I had my typical lunch; soup, sandwich and a salad. The food they make here just isn’t very good most of the time so it is usually safer to stick with food that they touch as little as possible. This afternoon I turned in laundry, read the paper and slept- we have mission tonight so it seemed my best option to get some rest while I can. So last night before the Mud Puppies showed up to ruin our fun we were watching the Baghdad sniper video- it really didn’t hit my until this morning. That video pissed me off; while I was in the gym lifting all hopped on my crack (weight lifting supplements), I just got angrier and angrier about what I had seen. The claims that they make on that video, the self righteous propaganda and religious right rants are infuriating. They claim to have killed 600 plus US soldiers in Baghdad in the last year, bullshit I know of two people in the video that they would have you believe are dead whom are very much alive and back in the fight. Seeing your friend get shot is not easy, it pissed you off even more when you see in a terrorist snuff film. For a few moments in the grips of anger you want to grab your rifle and bag a couple of them because at the time it would make you feel better- but you don’t because you are a soldier not a terrorist, the fundamental difference between the two is how we play the game. The coalition forces here have made some very poor decisions, but on the whole we have played a much better version of war than these people and the media would have you believe. Well time to get some dinner, check my email and get to work- I leave you with a quote I saw today. “A nation that forgets its heroes will itself be forgotten”

15 days and a wake up…

Hmmm… I am really tired of playing this game; I am very ready to take my ball and go home. I get so tired of dealing with stupid shit that could be handled differently; people don’t think about how their decisions affect others around them. The truly sad part of this war is that most of the dumb crap happens to us while we are on the camp; going out in sector is the easy part. If you asked my soldiers where they would rather be hands down they would prefer to be in sector than here on the camp dealing with higher. Today was quiet for the most part; I worked out this morning, read the paper and ate lunch. In the afternoon I watched four episodes of season seven of The West Wing, I have three discs left. Our patrol with the locals was quick, they really have come a long way since we started working with them- they still don’t have the work ethic that we would hope, but they are coming along. One of our guys pulled an uber bone head move today; he will have to work very hard to dig himself out of the hole that he has made for himself. I should be getting some sleep- tomorrow will be filled with all kinds of stupid tasks and none of them involve going into sector, so they will be extremely retarded.

14 days and a wake up…

It is the little things that irritate the crap out of you here. So we moved into these tents because we are going home soon and they needed our rooms for our replacements. The tents aren’t so bad, just our platoon- our family here. We have had a pretty good time living here together, kind of like when we lived in the mausoleum. The things that bother you are not the bombs, the bullets or the other things that could kill you- what bothers you is not having had a hot shower in 3 days and the fact that due to the B/S you aren’t going to be able to hit the gym in the morning. You can understand going out in sector multiple times a day, you’re a scout that’s what you do, but really is a hot shower too much to ask? All in all though the days pass here quickly; this has been the quickest year that I have had in awhile, that isn’t necessarily a good thing though in a few years I am sure I will look back and wish that time had passed a little slower. Well I think I am going to lay down listen to a little Sinatra and relax…

13 days and a wake up…

Some days you are just happy to crawl into your cot at the end. You don’t care about email from home, reading a good book or hot showers- you are just happy that it is all over for the day. That’s where I am today, the crap that we put up with kills my motivation. This has turned into war for dummies, it is impossible for us to hold the hands of the guys taking over for us anymore than we are. When we got here; we got a couple of maps, a ride through the area and a good luck- now however we are spending every free second we have with the new guys showing them every little thing. On top of all of the menial shit that we are doing we are doubling the number of patrols we are doing in an attempt to make ourselves look heroic or some sort shit. Time for sleep, we have a whole new round of B/S tomorrow.

12 days and a wake up…

There are times here when this place is better than tolerable, like this evening in the middle of a 6 mile run that I took just as the sun was setting. The calming effects of running are amazing; the sun was setting with all of the beautiful coloration that the desert lends to the sky and there it was this jumbo jet taking off, probably to Dubai or Damascus- all I could think of though was that big wonderful bird that I would be catching in a few days to family, friends and home. I smiled when I thought of the people I would see, the places I would travel to and the general pleasure that you experience after a long trip. This year has flown by and despite all of the bad things that have occurred more often than not I have good days rather than bad ones; I think I can lend this to an appreciation of the small things- the ability to find a happy thought in something so small that most people miss it. Today was a good day and I will leave you with a quote by Elie Weisel, Holocaust survivor and Nobel Prize winner, a person who has seen the evil that men do on a greater level than I can ever imagine.
“Life is not made of years, but of moments.”

11 days and wake up…

I was talking to Roadshow 3 the other night on AIM; we were discussing my future, specifically how I was going to spend the rest of my time in the military. There are so many things that float around in my head from time to time, so many things that I want to accomplish- some of them just for the sake of being able to say I did it, whether to prove to myself or someone else I am not sure. Right now I don’t think that I have accomplished all that I can in the military, I need to start thinking like a grown up and decide what I want to do and what of the things that I have thought about are just kids dreams. I wish that I knew just what it was that I wanted to do for the rest of my life- I don’t, but there are a few things that have been in my mind longer than others and perhaps it is time to focus on those things and pursue them. The next few years of my life or tied into this uniform whether I like or not. I can make the best of this situation a couple of different ways; a couple of those ways are safer than others. There is one thing that I know, I want to live and there are ways of mitigating danger- even in this uniform. For some reason unknown to me I have felt extremely mortal today, it is a feeling that hits you at times when you are in a combat zone not one that you can afford to feel very often- but one that despite all of your best efforts slips in from time to time. Today was another day of no mission for me which was nice, I can’t think of the last time I had two days without a mission in a row, it was also another day where at midnight we can be thankful that we are all still alive. Hopefully I will find some time tomorrow to take a run outside for my third day in a row and think about the future some more in my head.

Eight days and a wake up…

So the last few days have been terribly busy, it has been a little flashback to earlier in the year where we were running 50 plus hours of patrols a day. Today has been slow though, I had a chance to work out and watch the last two episodes of The West Wing season 7. Our afternoon patrol for tomorrow has been cancelled so the way it is looking now I only have one mission left before I get out of here. That is awesome it has been a long year and I am ready to hang my saddle up for awhile before I ride out to play the cowboy again. There really isn’t anything to say other than I can’t wait to have Christmas Eve fondue with the family, spend Christmas morning lounging with them and having a few drinks New Year’s Eve with the TRS. I am of course looking forward to spending the first few days that I am home in San Antonio with Mom and Grandma. There will be a few nights of hanging out and drinking with the platoon, hopefully I will be able to spend some time with friends from the church as well. Most of all I hope to be able to get my hands on a couple of good books to sit down and read.

Four days and a wake up…

This place goes from one extreme to the other; last night patrol was seven and half hours long, today it was cancelled- which was cool with us because that leaves us with one patrol left. Yesterday was also Thanksgiving Day; lunch had to be the worst Thanksgiving meal that I have ever had. Last night’s dinner was good though; turkey stuffing, salad and rolls- that evening meal made all the difference in salvaging my day. When the schedule was drawn up we had to do 16 patrols in four days, as advisors, with the guys that are relieving us. A couple of them have been cancelled but for the most part we have been staying really busy with it, the guys taking over for us aren’t bad they will be OK, they are just experiencing some growing pains right now. On the soldier level they will be good, most of their problems are at there higher command level. There lieutenants and NCOs have listened to us for the most part and they have asked some really good questions- but so much of it is just learning the area, you cannot be combat effective if you don’t know your area of responsibility and you cannot know your AOR without spending time in it. There aren’t many of us left here, 15 to be exact, the main group of our platoon left today- they should be flying for Kuwait in a couple of hours. Tomorrow we have four patrols for the seven NCOs that are still here, then we will be done- at that point all we have to avoid are stray mortar rounds and our planes crashing. It feels good to only have about five hours left in sector; this has not been an easy year, but it will improve dramatically when I roll through the gate for the last time tomorrow evening.

Three days and a wake up…

We are now officially combat finished. There are no more patrols for this guy during this deployment, so now all we have to do is avoid stray mortar rounds and hope that our planes don’t crash and we should make it home to our families. Our squadron operations officer came into our tent to tell us the news, we were all so happy, now there are things that can happen- but our chances of survival have increased significantly. I never had a huge problem going out with the new guys as an advisor, they will do fine, but my year is up and I am ready to go home. I went on well over 500 missions this last year, I think that I have earned a little time off. I wish that I could put into words the joy that I felt when I heard for certain that we were done with missions, now I can start to think about spending time with friends and family without worrying about losing my focus- what a relieve.

One day and a wake up…

It’s Monday and short of a plane crash we should be home this Friday, which means that this Sunday I should be sitting on the Riverwalk in San Antonio having a drink. There really isn’t too much going on these days, without missions or vehicles to work on we really don’t do to much other than spend time at the gym and goof off, which is a nice change. The first of our guys should have landed in Texas today.

30 plus hours…

So it doesn’t take long in the Army for your day to go to poop, when we woke up at 0300 this morning we were expecting to fly out of Kuwait City around 1830. Currently it is 1930 and we are still waiting for the bird that we are to fly to land here, after it lands it will then take them a few hours to refit the plane and get us on it. They have no food for us and they have no plan for us to get food, so instead of us waiting somewhere with a couple of activities to take our minds off of the time, we are sitting in an airplane hanger watching the time tick off of the clock, slowly growing into a bitter mixture of no sleep, hunger and disappointment. Some of the civilians have said to us “at least you aren’t getting shot at and you are no longer in a combat zone”, seriously that does not make me feel better, what it does is make me realize that this entity that I have spent a year risking my life for cannot even take the time to make sure I eat. I wanted to spend Friday night on the Riverwalk with my family and a drink, not flying. It is always the logistics that grind an army to a halt, the combat we can handle; however when it comes to taking care of its soldiers the Army will screw them every time. I am very glad to be leaving this part of the world but I would much rather be 20,000 feet in the air and an hour out of this place, alas here we are doing what soldiers do, wait. I really should be happier to be this close, technically I am out of a combat zone but the whole day has been a crock of poo. Here is another complaint they have already scanned our ID cards to show that we are no longer in the combat zone, which means that my combat pay has stopped and I have to pay taxes on the money I make, chances are I will only be in Kuwait for about an hour after midnight- which isn’t a long time. Here is the problem if I was an Air Force pilot and I touched down here for an hour I would get the combat pay, so the government is screwing me out of what someone else would get, which is why I have an issue with it. The world of the ground soldier is so much different than that of the officer, I don’t want their life but I wish our leadership would realize who wins these wars and who loses their lives during them. This has just been a rotten day, it has been a perfect example of our deployment, we have gotten every bad break that was to be had and here it continues. The thought that in a few short hours I will be getting on a plane for home with all of the soldiers that we brought over here, we lost no one from our troop during the year, brings a calming feeling into my chest.

Well, I will see you down the trail…

Stay out of the hot sun,

Peace and Love- Roadshow 6